The Total Chaos That Is Parenting, In 8 Hilarious Photos

Months after her hilarious and all-too-real "Mom Life" photo series went viral, photographer Anna Angenend continues to create images that showcase the messy side of parenting.As with the first series, most of the new "Mom Life" shots feature Angenend and her daughter Mia, who is one month shy of her third birthday. True to theme, the photos still "acknowledge the reality of parenthood," the photographer told The Huffington Post, adding, "Social media is infamous for highlighting all the perfections in life, even if they are extremely rare, fake or posed.""Isn't it nice to be reminded that almost nobody's life is perfect, despite what their Facebook feed claims?" she continued. "There is a good chance that at least one of your mom friends left the house with a giant peanut butter smear on their pants today." The mom said her toddler loves participating in the photo shoots and is now trying her hand at directing the setups and making creative suggestions. "Going viral has not changed her life at all, except a few of her playmates are wondering when they will be on TV, 'like Mia,'" Angenend added.Though Mia is leaving her "terrible twos," the photographer said she thinks the "threenager" phase will continue to bring chaos. She takes "Mom Life" photos whenever inspiration hits, sometimes as often twice a week or as infrequently as once a month. "I will continue capturing our life together, even if the series evolves into something else," she said. Whatever the future of the series may hold, Angenend above all hopes the photos will make people laugh. "I feel that when life gets out of control, no matter how serious or silly the situation is, if you can find a way to laugh, it will make everything seem a little bit better and give the you strength to keep going," she said. "There is joy all around when you look for it."Also on HuffPost:– This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

10 Phrases Our Kids Use…and What They Really Mean

We're called parents, but a more accurate title for us is "underpaid translators." Because we need to take what our lying, sometimes petulant children say and convert it to something that's not so easily uncovered — the truth. While I've gotten significantly better at it over the past few years, I won't pretend to be an expert. I still occasionally take what my kids say at face value (crazy, I know) and treat their words with the same respect as I would an adult. But ultimately, I've come to determine that children are salaciously deceptive with their language…like crooked politicians side-stepping the truth. But I won't stand for it any longer. And I'm ready to hold these liars accountable for their actions.With that said, here are some commonly-heard kid phrases and my literal interpretation of what they actually mean…1. "I'm not talking to you ever again!"You'll hear this shouted at you (or one of your other offspring) when kid #1 doesn't get what he wants. Actual meaning: I will not make direct eye contact with you for 45 seconds, at which point I will have completely forgotten about my alleged vow of silence and demand a cup of apple juice.2. "I haven't watched TV in forever!"I hear this all the time. "I haven't [insert kid activity] in forever!" Blah, blah. Actual meaning: I haven't watched TV in about an hour. But since I'm only four, that hour encompasses more of my life than I can logically handle. Please hold me.3. "I hate you."My kids hurl this at me on a daily basis. It used to hurt, but not since I figured out the translation.Actual meaning: I actually don't hate you. I like you just fine, but I can't stand that you aren't letting me ruin your life with my intolerable bullsh*t.4. "I'm not hungry."This one's fairly straightforward.Actual meaning: I'm not hungry for dinner. Totally down for a brownie sundae, though.5. "I saw Superman at the store today!"Substitute any fictional character in Superman's place and you've been there. Kids claim to see things (or people) they really aren't seeing.Actual meaning: I saw some guy in a Superman shirt on the check-out line at Burger King. I tend to jump to conclusions and exaggerate.6. "I'm too old for Elmo."It used to make me sad when I heard this. But now I get it.Actual meaning: Ever since I turned six, I have this pressing need to convince you that I've matured beyond Sesame Street, but really, I will watch it when I don't think you're looking.7. "Michael is my best friend at school."The first time he said something like this, I instantly wanted to call Michael's parents and set up a playdate, like, that night. Then I realized…Actual meaning: Michael and I have met exactly once, for 30 seconds. He does have a cool pair of Avengers sneakers, though, and that's really all that matters to me. In fact, his name might not even be Michael.8. "This is the worst day of my life."Sounds rather catastrophic.Actual meaning: DVR cut off the last two minutes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I'll live.9. "This is the best day of my life."Sounds rather significant.Actual meaning: I ate ice cream while wearing my favorite shirt. That's pretty much it.10. [Insert anything your child says to you between 12 and 5 in the morning]When my first son was finally old enough to walk to my room in the middle of the night and request goods or services from me, my instinct was to give him what he wanted. Hungry? Have some food. Scared? Jump on in next to mommy and daddy. Years later, I've come to a much different conclusion.Actual meaning: I'm actually fine. I just find great pleasure in ensuring you don't get a decent night's sleep for the rest of your 30s and 40s. But since we're both already up, would you mind grabbing me a glass of water?Feel free to print this out and stash it in your pocket between the hours of 12:00 a.m. and 11:59 p.m. Because that's when most of the BS will come out. You're welcome and happy translating. To continue the conversation and add your own translations, feel free to contact me on Twitter @JoeDeProspero using hashtag #kidlanguage. — This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Memorable Moments From Four Decades of TIFF

TORONTO—The Toronto International Film Festival turns the big 4-0 this year with yet another star-studded edition of the annual movie marathon. It’s grown up a lot since starting out as the Festival of Festivals, a fledgling affair largely regarded as a local event until Hollywood started taking note and sending its A-listers north.
Throughout the decades there were stumbles, triumphs, and plenty of celebrity hijinks. Here’s a look at some of TIFF’s most memorable moments:
1976 – The first edition unspools in October with Canadian organizers promising visitors a wonderful Indian summer. It snows. Co-founders Bill Marshall and Henk Van der Kolk discuss the cost of renting snowblowers. Future fests move to September.
1978 – Publicity boss Helga Stephenson is punched in the shoulder as a frenzied mob tries to enter an overflowing screening for “In Praise of Older Women.” A dispute with censors over the film’s sexual content landed programmers in the papers and gave the fest the best publicity it could hope for. Staffers sneak an uncut version onto the screen.
1983 – The ensemble drama “The Big Chill” and its fresh cast of up-and-comers, including Glenn Close and William Hurt, enthral audiences. The surprise hit and parade of photogenic actors set the stage for future red carpet spectacles.
1990 – Now festival director, Stephenson convinces “White Hunter Black Heart” star/director Clint Eastwood to visit her dying mother in hospital. “He was her favourite actor. So after the presentation, we walked across the street from the Elgin (Theatre) and into the hospital where he was whisked to her room.”
1991 – A TIFF delivery van containing that day’s stash of film prints is stolen. Programmers scramble to find other flicks to screen. “Of course, the studios freaked out,” recalls current festival CEO Piers Handling. The van is recovered several days later behind a deli, with all the prints accounted for.
TIFF marks its 40th milestone with a new program for foreign TV series and a juried competitive section for ‘artistically ambitious cinema.’2001 – Matthew McConaughey reportedly leaps from his seat to tend to a woman who faints at a screening of “Thirteen Conversations About One Thing.” She later tells press: “I felt a man stroking my hair and kissing my forehead saying, ‘It’s OK, sweetheart.'”
Days later, red carpets, press conferences, and parties are cancelled when word spreads of hijacked planes slamming into New York’s World Trade Center. Stranded film stars gather around televisions, shocked by what they see. Canuck filmmakers including producer Robert Lantos open their homes to U.S. and European colleagues unable to immediately find a way home.
2006 – “All The King’s Men” star Sean Penn lights up at a hotel press conference, violating an Ontario law that forbids smoking indoors. Penn escapes punishment, but the hotel faces more than $600 in fines. Across town, Sacha Baron Cohen shows up at the midnight premiere of “Borat” in a cart pulled by women dressed as dreary peasants. At the screening, the projector breaks down and spectator Michael Moore (director of “Bowling for Columbine”) attempts to fix the problem, to no avail.
2007 – “Cassandra’s Dream” star Colin Farrell makes headlines for taking a homeless man on a shopping spree for clothes and waterproof gear, and handing him a wad of cash. Meanwhile, a cranky Sean Penn returns with “Into the Wild” and berates reporters and photographers at a press conference: “You can stop taking pictures because I can’t think,” he snaps.
2008 – A man yells at legendary film critic Roger Ebert and smacks him on the knee at a screening for “Slumdog Millionaire.” Ebert, who had been rendered mute by health ailments, explains in a column afterwards that he tapped the shoulder of the guy in front of him because his head was blocking the subtitles.
2009 – Naomi Klein, Jane Fonda, and Viggo Mortensen join a local protest against TIFF’s decision to spotlight films from Tel Aviv, complaining it excludes Palestinian voices. Their petition is quickly denounced by a celeb-stacked counter-statement from festival friends including Israel-sympathetic stars Natalie Portman, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Jerry Seinfeld.
2010 – A rumour spreads that bed bugs have infiltrated Scotiabank Theatre, a multiplex hosting many TIFF screenings. Theatre owner Cineplex Entertainment denies the claims, but an itchy panic spreads online regardless.
2011 – Keira Knightley risks rankling a Toronto audience by striding into a press conference with a Montreal Canadiens jersey slung across her shoulders. The Brit star says she did so at the bidding of her “Dangerous Method” co-star Viggo Mortensen, a big Habs fan. Their Toronto-bred director David Cronenberg deems the stunt “perverse.”
2015 – TIFF marks its 40th milestone with a new program for foreign TV series and a juried competitive section for “artistically ambitious cinema.” For local fans, it offers free screenings through the fall, including Alfred Hitchcock’s “Vertigo” with a live symphony score Sept. 20, the last day of the fest.

TV Academy, Actors Union Toast Diversity at Pre-Emmy Party

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — With hit shows like “Empire,” ”black-ish” and “How to Get Away With Murder,” diversity is the new normal in TV.
That was the message at a pre-Emmy party celebrating the industry’s diverse talent on both sides of the camera.
“Diversity no longer means niche,” said Jason George, head of diversity efforts for the actors union. “Diversity is mainstream.”
The TV academy and the SAG-AFTRA actors union held its third annual pre-Emmy diversity reception Thursday at the Montage Hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif. With little on the agenda other than to celebrate, stars including Daniel Dae Kim, Garcelle Beauvais and “American Crime” supporting actor nominee Richard Cabral ate, drank and mingled under the stars on the warm, breezeless night.
In a year when the Academy Awards were criticized for an all-white slate of acting nominees, TV actors are toasting the opportunities on the small screen for women, people of color and people with disabilities.
Diverse casting could even make history on Emmy night: If either Taraji P. Henson of “Empire” or Viola Davis of “How to Get Away With Murder” win for lead dramatic actress, she will be the first black woman to do so in that category.
George said “the ‘Empire’ effect” and “the Shonda Rhimes effect” have inspired agents and studios to intentionally seek actors “from the diversity categories” for lead roles.
Kim and Beauvais said Hollywood has to embrace diversity because viewers are demanding to see people who look like themselves on TV.
“We’ve got a long way to go yet, but there are strides made every year, whether it’s for race or gender or sexual orientation,” Kim said. “I think television, especially, is leading the way in being more progressive.”
The Emmy Awards will be presented Sept. 20.

10 TV Shows You’ll Want to Watch This Fall and Winter

Dozens of new programs will premiere this fall and winter, but only a handful stand out.
Several shows are almost guaranteed to be successful–the Walking Dead “spinoff” will bring over many of the viewers from the original series. DC’s Legends of Tomorrow will entice people who enjoyed The Flash and Arrow. Bastard Executioner will benefit from a few key similarities to Sons of Anarchy.
And a few shows boast recognizable stars–Jennifer Lopez and Wesley Snipes among them–to at least get a fighting chance at survival.
Check out the 10 top shows to look forward to below.
Bastard Executioner (FX)

Kurt Sutter returns to FX with an all-new show, rather than basking in the success of Sons.
Fans will be pleased to see several familiar faces among the actors, including Sutter himself and his wife Katey Sagal.
“The Bastard Executioner is a blood-soaked, medieval epic that tells the story of Wilkin Brattle, a 14th century warrior, whose life is forever changed when a divine messenger beseeches him to lay down his sword and lead the life of another man: a journeyman executioner. Set in northern Wales during a time rife with rebellion and political upheaval, Wilkin must walk a tight rope between protecting his true identity while also serving a mysterious destiny,” according to FX.
Premieres this fall (specific date not yet announced).
Containment (CW)

The CW continues its slow build-up with a promising show about a viral outbreak in Atlanta from Julie Plec (Vampire Diaries, The Tomorrow People).
The show is based on the Belgian TV series Cordon, which also ran in the United Kingdom. The trailer looks pretty good, but it definitely remains to be seen how strong the series will turn out.
“Neighbours in a block wake one morning to find they have been sealed inside their apartments. Can they work together to find out why? Or will they destroy each other in their fight to escape?” according to the show’s description on IMDB.
Premieres in January or February (specific date not yet announced).
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (CW)

Fans of the DC universe should welcome another installment, which will feature a slew of familiar faces as well as some newcomers.
Prison Break alums and Flash villains Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller (Heat Wave and Captain Cold) will be part of the force, along with Caity Lotz (Sara Lance), Brandon Routh (The Atom), and Victor Garber (Firestorm) from the universe. Newcomers announced so far are Arthur Darvill as Rip Hunter, Ciara Renee as Hawkgirl, and Franz Drameh as Jay Jackson.
Few specific details have been announced, seen by the lack of an official website or even a description on IMDB.
Premieres in January or February (specific date not yet announced).
Dr. Ken (ABC)

Ken Jeong gets the starring role here as a frustrated doctor juggling his career, marriage, and family.
While that seems to indicate a lot of drama, it will be a comedy and looks to be one of the stronger ones on the upcoming TV slate based on Jeong’s previous work. At the very least, fans of his should tune in to see if they like the show.
“Doctor turned actor/comedian Ken Jeong plays Dr. Ken, a brilliant physician with no bedside manner. He is always trying to be a good doctor, as well as a good husband and dad to his two kids. Luckily, his therapist wife Allison is just the right partner to keep things sane,” according to ABC.
Premieres Friday, Oct. 2 at 8:30 p.m.
Fear the Walking Dead (AMC)

The new Walking Dead series is not a companion series or a prequel or a spinoff, primarily because it will feature no characters from the original series and also be set in Los Angeles instead of Georgia and the East Coast.
Fear has been getting good early reviews and has a strong look in the trailers, although it’s safe to say the comparison to the original will be hard to shake. Kim Dickens, Cliff Curtis, and Frank Dillane are among the stars. A second season has already been confirmed.
There’s no official description on the website, but the basic premise has the show set in the same “Dead” world, but further back in the timeline than when Rick wakes up in Georgia. The main characters’ families struggle to deal with the zombie outbreak and impending collapse of civilization, with hard choices having to be made.
Premieres on Sunday, August 23 at 9 p.m. ET.
Little Big Shots (NBC)
(Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

Two of the top daytime TV hosts, Ellen DeGeneres and Steve Harvey, team up for this new series starring children.
The pair are both executive producers but Harvey will be the host for the show, which will feature “the world’s most talented and extraordinary kids,” according to the network.
“In ‘Little Big Shots,’ Harvey will showcase young musicians, singers, dancers and every form of wunderkind in the country, and go toe to toe with them in conversations and interviews, with hilarious results,” NBC added.
Premieres midseason (specific date not yet announced).

Reality TV Show Unveils Life as a Trainer of Animal Actors

LOS ANGELES — For years, Bill Berloni has taught his dogs to play make believe. Now, he’s making it real.
The trainer teaches rescue dogs to beg, bark and bow or sit, stand and shake for movies, TV and the Broadway stage. Once the animal actors retire, he brings them home to join his 30 dogs, one cat, farm animals and singing macaw that swears like a sailor.
He is bringing the motley crew to reality TV in “From Wags to Riches with Bill Berloni,” the Discovery Family Channel’s first original series, debuting next week.
MORE:Do Animals Feel Pain Like We Do?
Berloni’s stable of stars — all found from shelters — have appeared in Broadway shows, touring companies, special events, the New York City Ballet, movies, television and commercials. He estimates he’s rescued 150 dogs since 1977.
Berloni, 58, who was recognized by the Tony Awards for excellence in the theater, has been approached about a reality series before. He says he gave this one the green light because “there aren’t many shows about good people doing good things.”
Some animal-welfare groups denounce animals in entertainment, but Berloni believes dogs were made for show business. He says he would never train a wild animal, but he does transform rough-and-tumble pooches into top actors.
He rescued a Chihuahua named Chico, who went on to play Bruiser in “Legally Blonde: The Musical,” when he was prone to biting and about to be euthanized at the pound. Berloni worked with Chico until he could bark on cue and run into his carrier whenever an actress says, “White shoes after Labor Day.”
Now, the tiny pooch that sleeps in the crook of his arm.
“Chico lives for me, and you can’t help but respond to that. It is a huge responsibility,” the self-taught trainer said.
Dogs are hardest to train for the stage, Berloni said. Unlike TV and film, there is no editing button, and it’s impossible to mask distractions from audiences and actors.
The dog he trained to play Sandy in the original stage production of “Annie” in 1977 eyeballed the audience as theatergoers in the front row were munching on fried chicken. But Sandy didn’t leave the stage, Berloni said.
“Annie” was a huge hit, and Sandy became the longest-running dog actor on Broadway — she didn’t miss a performance in seven years.
Sandy gave Berloni his start training celebrity dogs. He was working at an opera house in Connecticut, where he and his family live on a farm in Higganum, when a producer asked him to find and train the dog for “Annie.”
Things are a bit less glamorous on the reality show, which is wrapping up its first four episodes.
At home, Berloni’s salty macaw rules the roost. The bird named Kevin turns the kitchen sink into his stage, belting out tunes such as “Tomorrow” and “It’s Raining Men.” Despite his outrageous personality, Kevin has never acted, unlike his fellow pets.
“He is only a star in our living room,” Berloni said.
Co-executive producer Sarah T. Davies says the show stands out for its simple moments: A group of dogs playing in the snow; a massive St. Bernard getting a bath; his wife and daughter competing to bake the best dog biscuits.
“I do regard him as a real-life Dr. Doolittle,” Davies said.
Berloni says he’s focused on improving animals’ lives rather than the camera crews, but fame is nothing new. He had to confront it even at his daughter’s preschool about a decade ago.
“They called us in and said our daughter had a vivid imagination. They said she told them I was at ‘Sesame Street’ playing with Elmo. I told them I was,” Berloni said.